“A while ago, I wrote something that attempted to define what was or wasn’t a sport by a set of rules with which any sane and rational person in the universe would concur. For instance, it’s not a sport if it carries the prefix ‘ultimate’, if you can smoke while you’re doing it, or if the outcome is based upon points from judges. Or if it’s quite obviously a pastime, such as golf. As I say, there was very little controversial in the piece, though one reader did take offence at the description of gymnastics as child abuse with points.”

The Guardian / Ruffle a few feathers, support our pigeons